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Thinking
July 1st 2013, 22:08 CEST by LPMiller

thinking

I believe Planetcrap is trying to achieve sentience.
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#59 by jafd
2013-09-20 02:48:14
It's nice to see that both of you still understand the purpose of understated acknowledgement.

Hey, why so Syria?

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P
#60 by jafd
2013-09-20 02:51:11
I changed the title of my topic in the pipeline to "no longer thinking..." just to keep it all in one place.

Careful what you ask for next time, I guess. Frankly, I thought post #50 was fucking brilliant.

Dark Souls.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P
#61 by G-Man
2013-09-21 17:35:04
I'll admit that I actually read all of that. I got most of the references but had to look a few up. Jafd is pretty well-read, even if a lot of it is concentrated on pseudo-science, science-fiction, and conspiracy theories.

But jafd: You are in your 40s now. Isn't there something better for you to be doing with your life?
#62 by jafd
2013-09-23 13:47:39
G-Man: I would not know if there is something better for you to be doing with your life, but I assure you, I really did not dare to hope that you really do get... you know, compensated for monitoring this site.

Thank you for your service. Also, you should know that one of The Powers prevented me from posting here, the very lengthy thing I wrote, just for you.

That's not, like... obstruction, is it? Well, whatever, obstruction of jafd's id is its own reward.

I'd check in with the people, if I were you, because even I am quite surprised. Apparently that "greasemonkey script" doesn't work so well in a thread titled "Thinking..."

(I really only come here when impelled by A Power, but... thanks guys, I really appreciate all your clandestinely held approvals of my very nature.)

Hey, anyone seen DKI lately? I fucking LOVE that pussy. UNF UNF UNF! The war is over! jafd wins! jafd wins!

Consider the victory lap I'm gonna take one day... it's going to be a very exclusive event. I mean, I wasn't even going to, but I sure as shit did not come to PlanetCrap just to fart.

I came here because I love you all, and because the mental driver in my head tells me that I should not forget about any of you. Shrug. I don't care. If it hadn't told me that this was the last time for this site, I wouldn't be here at all.

Ironically, I am sure all but one of you think I'm just here for attention. Sigh. Now I know how Van Gogh feels. Felt. Whichever.

No, Morn, it's not safe yet: SHHH!

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P
#63 by jafd
2013-09-23 14:02:58
I feel like I just found a sequence breaking method in Super Metroid (SNES) that no one has found before.

What are the odds? Well, I'll either practice it and "claim it," or tell other people and let someone else "claim it" or I'll pass it along to someone else, and let them "enhance it."

I choose Elon Musk. Who is that guy? I should have been on his forum twenty years ago. Why didn't that happen?

Well, whatever*, someone just put up "The Official Forum of The Official Inspiration for The Character of Tony Stark," throw up a paywall, and we're in business!

In business dealing with very angry South African gem and mineral magnates, but, you know, whatever. There's like at least two dozen splinter groups vying for transnational power now... take your pick!

Or, of course, GTA V. Or, of course, not have yet figured out that if one knows jafd, and one is not right with jafd, one is in a bad way. There's exactly THREE people that I'm tight with IRL from this site, and two of them are in denial, and the third, well... everytime I think to myself, "what the hell, did I really waste all that fucking time?" this girl is right there to remind me that I was right all along, and what happened, doesn't matter.

Well, I guess it does matter, because the last post I made that "didn't matter" got... intercepted!

Love that greasemonkey script. It's so testable. Oh, wait, wait, I mean: "deceitful."

Like it could just be Morn, editting in real time. Or not. Or whatever. It's definitely "a thing," though.

God, I love Morn's things. I hope Morn's secret dream is to rescue the world from Facebook, because I think he actually could!

And that's something I could help with, of course. Consider how much I annoyed the lot of you, without even trying. What if I had any actual clever skills, and what if I was motivated to use them?

Is it treason to attack Facebook, or is that just gay-bashing? Or would it be stalking? Would it be cyber-stalking? It wouldn't be, say, an attack against, say, some kind of government, because OF COURSE Facebook isn't the government, it's just, like that kid, and a bunch of citizens who were ripped off.

I don't know that one either, but now that I've been censored, I guess someone will have to care about it.


Seriously, troopers, I wrote this post that went like this: "I will never post like this again, here's why" and then when I hit "post," it... vanished.

I guess it was because I was thought to be lying? No idea. It couldn't be due to the presence of chaos magick, because that's just a story, ho ho ho. I'll prove this by only using that on another site, and never using it on another, and ignoring it on this one.

This sounds like a whole lot of work, so it is a good thing I am not doing shit besides being a nuisance. And I couldn't be involved--I get lost on the way to the pre-school by taking a wrong turn at the air force yard.

I really don't think it works that way, but I am trying to make various search algorithms trigger on a false-positive, sort of, you dig? Anyway I think the last one really got Clippy's attention.

I'm not mad, but... if that wasn't Morn, and it wasn't Gabe, I don't know who it was. And, in response to your private dreams... it is nothing to do with me.

Keep sitting on those archives, Morn! Valuable in ways I cannot imagine. You should see what is happening over here as a result of my interaction with you.

Have you ever heard of... Skype? I don't know, I think it is a fad.

(I liked the other post better, my friend. You are welcome for this favor. YOU NOW OWE ME ONE.)

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P
#64 by jafd
2013-09-23 14:10:18
one more just to seal off that Rule of Three thing, and isolate the one stolen post.

Hairy Potsmoker is really overrated... wait, wait, I mean, Harry Potter and the Thinly-Veiled Parable sure has changed things.

"Hi! We've noticed that you've accidentally left your construction open to influence and corruption by... well, whatever. Did you mean to do that? Fix it or we will haunt your daydreams, thanks... oh, you did already, thank you, enjoy the rest of your hallucinogenic fantasy, et cetera."

So glad I never finished those books, sat through the films, bought into the concept of "an ending," and grew up.

So, any of you friends with her? I heard she was lonely, no one understands her, has children that are rapidly flying out of her control, and... I don't know, posting on the Internet under a pseudonym, I guess.

Good thing it isn't here or you eagle-eyes would have been all... over... that... right? Or maybe it is only aliens. Or ETs. Or boys. Or Nazis?

OH SHIT GODWIN'S LAW OBLIVION

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P
#65 by jafd
2013-09-23 16:37:13
by the way, Morn, I do not know if you remember, but, I have only gotten sorrier over the years, so please hear me clearly here:

I am very sorry for inadvertently hurting your feelings when I was asking you those personal questions about your nationality. It was unkind of me to be so callous, simply because of my own disdain for my own nation.

I asked someone later, and they were all, "omg! you totally pissed him off. You are a stupid American, and are hated all over the world for a reason." And I was all, "hey, fuck you! I meant well, I was just asking!" And then they were all like, "somethings, one should not ask about."

So I moved forward, resolving to be more polite to Germans when asking about their past national embarassment, and still not quite figuring it out, because, after all, I am not German.

There's this other guy, too--I asked him "Why is there no King? Did he die? How can you have a Queen without a King? For that matter, how can you have a King without a Queen? These logical absurdi... hey, wait, where did he go? I thought the English believed in that "chosen by God" thing... don't they?"

And, prior to all that, I asked this Hindu woman, on the bus, about the red dot on her forehead. I was all, "hey, excuse me, what's that red mark all about? is it important? blah blah blah blah!" With her, I didn't give much of a shit, because as soon as I made it clear, that I wanted to know, she made it clear, that she thought I was just lying, and messing with her, for why? I don't know. I never know why people do it to me, I simply know why I do it.

Because, it was done to me.

Yeah, so, anyway, Morn--loving the security you got. It is highly impressive. Have you considered ever licencing this tech?

And, to be sure, I am really going to be not bothering you anymore. My first post was inspired, and the second one was just to test your script, and, I tested them.

You're welcome. I am so happy to be a part of your beta test, which obviously is ongoing for as long as you say "Planetcrap 7.0, coming soon. Now with more poop!"

Maybe you've taken that off, but whatever. I only come to this site now, because I love you, and when I am driven to go anywhere, this place was #1 in my heart, and has been for decades.

Obviously things are different now. You deleted TWO of my messages! You let me post DOZENS of others! You allowed poor G-Man, poor guy, you allowed him to be afflicted with my madness!

Which is all fine! So... what was wrong with the other two? Too long? Really? Or did they... contain sensitive information?

I am honestly asking. You could let me know. Or not.

The choice, as never before, has been left up to you.




I remain, yours, as always
simply and delightfully, just another friendly Dischordian. The 'd' is silent. The 'f' has always been the constant.

Rouse me from my IRL slumber cautiously, I warn ye. Ye? Ye are warned! I'm not aware of any magickal influences in this post, so, it is not like I am threatening anyone.

Oh, except for that one guy. Someone told me something about how I was never going to amount to anything, or I wasn't going to succeed, or... fuck, I forget.

It reminds me of this guy I asked for help from, and he ignored me completely, and then when Libya flipped, he went to go... who knows? He said "to help his family" but even if so, whatever? The fact that he had to give a reason at all was rather weird.

Oh, and the way he vanished without a word was odd, too. Maybe he died? Awwww. Maybe he went to work for the new secret police? Well, that would suck too... unless I happen to meet him in Libya.

highly, highly unlikely. However, it is even more unlikely that Morn is pissed at me because he thinks I'm racist against Germans, or am a crazed-Nazi-hater, or, even worse, one of those crazed-Nazi-lovers... because, damn, the world is full of nutters.

He may simply have been pissed that I found it to be a sign of pride that I was largely ignorant of the global political issues that I was asking him about, when I really had to business to, but, to be fair, the guy is going on about Crap and Poop and there's this one stereotype, so...

Well, whatever. I've moved on. I would like to know why Jeet was banned that day... hell, I would like to know why anyone was banned that day. That day was so much fun, I forgot how horrible it was!

And, of course... well, you know, 12 years later, anyone who did not have someone they -personally- know, who died on that day, can shut the fuck up, omg, omg.

I don't know about the rest of you Bud swillers, but after building that absurd new building, you would thought they would have counted their blessings... but no, 9/11, 12 years later, and they were just about ready to trigger another... PlanetCrap IRC party.

AND OBVIOUSLY THAT COULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN. RIGHT?

So mad at you, Morn! So angry! Grrrr! On the bright side, I forgive you!

Also, if there were something else wrong with my posts, besides, you know, length, your secret is safe with me. No one is going to ask me any questions about what I post here.

You guys know there are other forums where I could do this, right? So, consider this truth: I only do it here. And even I do not know why.

Also, I don't know why I keep countermanding my mind's orders, but whatever. I've won.

peace

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P
#66 by jafd
2013-09-23 19:04:28
Another post, nuked while composed... I think PC 7.0 is waking up.

Marsh Davies still on deck... NEXT CONTESTANT, hugin_len! COME ON DOWN!

And by that I mean, STAY THERE--I WILL COME TO YOU.

One of us is going to need a hug. I've been crying for twenty minutes, ever since they told me that I couldn't be friends with you anymore.

You know... because of... well, maybe they didn't tell you. Anyway, whatever. At the level of activity on this site, it hardly matters. Any name would do... oh, here's a sample, jjz*, come on down?

Oh, silly me... you've always been here. Anyway, none of this is important, it makes me look bad, and is not going to impress Morn.

So, I'm done. This may well be evidenced by the distinct lack of content in these latest posts.

Like seriously, I knew I was done here, but now, I have demonstrated that. What's more, I've demonstrated it cleverly! Let's just say, you had to be there.

Morn, I'm done with your beta test now. I know, what, like, a decade plus later, am I really so delusional as to imagine myself an ongoing part of your deal?

WELL NO, I WAS NOT. And yet, I came here... and discovered the myth that I once was, had become... well, I don't know, because, I took it back.

or, am taking. Who cares, right? Why are you even still reading this, without asking me what I'm going on about?


I've never been so happy to have been shut of so many rhetorical questions. I am being honest.




also, I am honestly compelled to say one last thing.

... why?

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P
#67 by jafd
2013-09-23 19:05:26
oh shits! I'm sorry! I meant to say
"What?"

QUOT ERAT DEMONSTRANDUM.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that." - Matt P
#68 by Wudi
2013-09-23 21:44:31
Wait...what? *m0rn (or gabe) deletes posts here?

LEAVING FOREVER!

Zep--
*Is this really true?

w0rd up!
#69 by bago
2013-10-21 11:06:14
manga_Rando@hotmail.com
You forgot Raffi and his fruit based telecom network.

REMEMbER DESCENT THE HIGHEST FORM of PATRIOTiC
#70 by Milan Brezovsk√Ĺ
2013-10-26 19:41:10
http://uglycode.com
He's like another Tommy Wiseau, but with more mania.

Parhelic Triangle is coming. Eventually.
#71 by bago
2013-10-27 01:06:19
manga_Rando@hotmail.com
Well, at least he got Nazis, 9/11, and bud light into a single post. Credit where credit is due.

REMEMbER DESCENT THE HIGHEST FORM of PATRIOTiC
#72 by Matt Perkins
2013-11-06 05:07:31
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
I'd say jafd wins, except dancing on a corpse is obscene.

Also, Mike, we all got tired of the douchy act a long time ago. It's too bad too, because I think you're good people beneath the bullshit...

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#73 by Gunp01nt
2013-12-08 00:11:57
supersimon33@hotmail.com
I just bought ~0.18 bitcoin.

OH GOD SELL SELL SELL!

She's probably had sex with like 4 different guys by now and has no idea who he is anymore, his face lost in a memory sea of dicks.
#74 by schnee
2013-12-21 02:07:12
david@snowdesign.com
I did a vanity search for my name, did not see it, TLDR
#75 by gaggle
2013-12-21 22:38:09
I still visit here almost every day.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." : : - FML
#76 by TreeFrog
2013-12-21 23:07:46
I saw that picture of you drinking a milkshake while your woman has a beer.
For shame, gaggle. For shame.

"One part disembowels me while another slowly eats its way through the gas line. As I bleed out on the floor, it reminds me that I need to buy milk." - Jibble
#77 by lwf
2013-12-22 01:51:31
Gotta check to see if there are new posts.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.
#78 by Chunkstyle
2013-12-22 04:54:11
There were 4!

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#79 by CheesyPoof
2013-12-22 04:55:28
Merry Christmas!

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#80 by CheesyPoof
2013-12-22 04:55:43
Not swapping my hat out still paying dividends.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#81 by gaggle
2013-12-23 00:53:29
They were preeetty good milkshakes though.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." : : - FML
#82 by Squeaky
2013-12-23 07:47:51
Merry Christmas to all you crappers!
#83 by Gunp01nt
2013-12-24 09:28:26
supersimon33@hotmail.com
Crappy Christmas everyone!

She's probably had sex with like 4 different guys by now and has no idea who he is anymore, his face lost in a memory sea of dicks.
#84 by deadlock
2013-12-24 10:12:11
http://www.deadlocked.org/
No no no! It's 'Crappy Shitmas'

#85 by gaggle
2013-12-24 10:46:15
Merry Christmas! We actually already celebrated it two days ago, so today we just make some good food but don't do presents or any other traditions. Pretty relaxing.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." : : - FML
#86 by Matt Perkins
2013-12-24 23:08:05
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Friends!

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#87 by Shadarr
2013-12-25 10:32:15
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
Merry Christmas to the best group of semi-sentient chatbots ever created. I hate you all.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle
#88 by Chunkstyle
2013-12-25 16:01:59
Merry Christmas Crappers!

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#89 by CheesyPoof
2013-12-26 06:00:29
Six posts! It's a Christmas miracle!

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#90 by gaggle
2013-12-26 14:47:49
My dad bought a new computer and I helped install it. It was my first contact with Windows 8.

First off its about half a day to update everything to 8.1, so that's fun. The computer pretty much just sits there with a progress bar. With that done I then thought to stay with standard apps as much as possible, so I jumped into Internet Explorer. But it is seriously insanity to browse the web using the metro mode! It's a weird toy browser that I keep fumbling when operating multiple tabs, or even multitask back after looking at other apps. I like iOS Safari fine, but this one is a totally mystery to me.

It's easy to realize life can't be lived purely in Metro anyway, because it doesn't support java and programs like Word is desktop only.  So if my dad has to fall into desktop for some things then I might as well give him Chrome, at least it's Metro mode looks like its desktop counterpart.

With Chrome installed things are instantly better, no longer constantly fidgeting and cursing every time I go to the web.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." : : - FML
#91 by gaggle
2013-12-26 15:03:37
Anyway, so I'm pretty critical at this point. And my dad is not great with computers so I had my doubts.

But we sit down for him to use it for the first time and I was blown away by how well he took to it. The ability to hit the Windows button at any time to get back to the tiles is great, it provides a real sense of safety that there's a simple button that always goes back. And he took to the Metro mail app, where attachments are easy to manage. The larger text is nice too. All in all I'm super happy to see it being a better "dad computer".

In a more professional capacity I think how Windows 8 mixes modes together is totally hopeless, they mesh together incredibly awkwardly. But seeing my dad actually *less* frustrated than what he was used to with XP is really cool, so I'm ready to say Windows 8 is great in that context.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." : : - FML
#92 by Gunp01nt
2013-12-26 22:17:58
supersimon33@hotmail.com
Congratulations Monty!

She's probably had sex with like 4 different guys by now and has no idea who he is anymore, his face lost in a memory sea of dicks.
#93 by honeypower
2014-01-05 16:45:11
aww, this place is still alive and hasn't changed a bit ... that makes me happy!
happy 2014, everyone <3
#94 by Matt Perkins
2014-01-06 17:44:45
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
hey honey. It's only the same in that it's very dead. :)

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#95 by yotsuya
2014-01-14 23:41:12
'Sup, guys?

#96 by TreeFrog
2014-01-15 23:34:54
Eh.

"One part disembowels me while another slowly eats its way through the gas line. As I bleed out on the floor, it reminds me that I need to buy milk." - Jibble
#97 by CheesyPoof
2014-01-16 05:07:09
Nothing apparently. It might finally be dead.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#98 by Shadarr
2014-01-16 22:38:00
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
It's all going down in IRC.

"I hope you one day decide to smarten the fuck up so I can stand to look at your posts." - gaggle
#99 by lwf
2014-01-17 03:53:49
And nothing is going down in IRC. Things don't happen anymore.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.
#100 by gaggle
2014-01-18 22:58:48
It's all on FacebookTwitterSnapchat these days.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." : : - FML
#101 by Chunkstyle
2014-01-23 01:49:16
Damn kids.

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#102 by Matt Perkins
2014-01-23 17:26:23
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
Ah the good ol days...

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#103 by Matt Perkins
2014-01-29 19:29:21
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
So it's been a pretty fantastic year already. I sometimes miss the good old of planetcrap when you could share whatever random thing and be verbally abused for it by some jackass. *sigh*

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#104 by Ergo
2014-01-29 20:06:19
Shut yer pie-hole, you fucking filthy hippy.

"THE FUCKING KITTY LITTER FUCKING BOMB GHRHGURHGUHGRUGHRUGHURHGURHGHHGHUAHUHU KITTY" -- greg
#105 by LPMiller
2014-01-29 20:35:09
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
stupid hippie.

"Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" - "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."

"LP, your big balls are a religion." - Jibble
#106 by TreeFrog
2014-01-30 00:08:51
Last year sucked balls and this one isn't looking any better so far.

Goddamn hippie.

"One part disembowels me while another slowly eats its way through the gas line. As I bleed out on the floor, it reminds me that I need to buy milk." - Jibble
#107 by Matt Perkins
2014-01-30 20:30:15
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
It's the old days!

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
#108 by Matt Perkins
2014-01-30 21:08:55
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
I'll update you guys then...

I'm a Director of IT now. I have a small team of awesome people who supports our smallish company and runs all development projects. This is my first job as a manager beyond being a development lead for a bit. Now I have a giant budget, the full trust of the executive board, and run both internal and external teams. I've been in this role for about two years now and we've removed a bad vendor (literally had to threaten them with US Marshals to get our data), brought all of our data in house, brought and managed the development of three full studies, and our data is now vendor independent. That's not even getting into all of the infrastructure stability and functionality we've brought to internal teams.

In short, I'm proud of my team and I. I was given this shot as the Acting Director of IT when the last guy burned out and I've given my company control over a their systems and data in a way they've never had before. Mainly, and sadly enough, because they didn't get good technical advice for many years. They either got companies agreeing to whatever to get their business or outside consultants who didn't really understand the company. Just by fixing that one little thing, giving them good, honest technical advice (including, sometimes, "I don't know so we should reach out to other experts."), I've brought a whole new capacity and stability to the data side of things.

In my personal life things are good too. My wife and I are about celebrate our 20th anniversary and it looks like we're going to get to go on a honeymoon we never got to (details are still coming together, but they are looking good). My job is virtual so I'm always at home other than driving the kids around and some extra curricular activities, so that's been strange but good. I have loved being at home and being involved with the family instead of sitting in a cube. I make my own hours, decide most of my own meetings, and put as much or as little work in as I want. Of course, me being the dedicated guy I am, I find I have a harder not limiting my hours rather than getting enough. I'm the lead in multiple different areas across multiple different teams so if I don't show up, things don't happen. So that's been a hard thing to find balance on. A good problem to have though imo.

And recently my wife also got hired at at the same company. I had her helping in my group when we needed some additional hands for QA and then she was asked to help somewhere else and then eventually they wanted her to take over the PM on a study for the moment. So now she has a full time job also working at home. That was pretty strange at first, especially figuring out all of the shit like us both having full time jobs and who was going to do the cooking and cleaning. It's going much smoother now and the added money has been really good. Liz is really enjoying the work and being able to help and manage a study has really gotten her excited. Overall we both been enjoying it and loving being able to work side by side on some of the projects.

There's a lot more going on since we talked last, but that's some of the big stuff. Life is good. Challenging, expanding, amazing and my family and I are doing pretty well. I think. :)

/update

How goes things with you fine folks? I don't pay enough attention to FB, nor IRC to know where many of you are these days.

"programmers talk from a very deep gnome cavern, full of gold mechanics" - wisdom from the ancients
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